i’ll admit that this time of morning 

is a fairly unique choice—

i’m not used to dread stabbing me 

in the stomach before i’ve had breakfast—

but nice tits just seems like a cop-out. 

unoriginal. an embarrassment, 

if you’re asked for your progress report 

at the weekly meeting of catcallers 

and say your piece only for some guy in the back 

to retaliate yeah, i already hit them with that 

back in august while they walked to the mailbox 

and the boss says yeah, do better next time, bro. 

i like to think that the boss is named garrett

just because i’ve known so many garretts

and i like to think there’s a meeting because 

it’s so much easier if this is planned,

with agendas and spreadsheets and 

perhaps a map so not too many girls or

people who look enough like girls to harass

are hassled in the same evening 

in massachusetts or rural indiana. 

because if a pattern emerges, we all might 

start staying inside, and the poor boys would 

have to start a book club or something, 

with no one left to beleaguer.